I Am Gaining Weight

I noticed that some of my size 2 tops are fitting tighter on me. I went to the scale and noticed that I have gained some weight. It is fats but it is not on my breast – which would have been lovely, thank you – but on my back. Ugh. So, I am going to start watching I am eating that’s doing this. Making my carefully selected work tops tight on me. My daughter suggested that I write a food diary or write down what I ate. The only issue I have with that is having to do it. Yes, I have my cell phone and I could easily do it in theory. Having to actually do it is challenging.

About the only thing I have been deligent about recently is watching my Korean Drama and making a list of it. Only because it is not a daily thing. I know I should do the food diary.  But first thing first. Stop eating so many cakes and party at every cute and pretty coffee shop in town.  I see a lot in the course of my job.


The WAFFLE ICE CREAM at ALL ABOUT CHA in Southlake Texas

That is number one. I find so many coffee and tea places all over town. After a court hearing, I would stop by and have a taro latte and some pastry.  In addition, I would come home and eat all the bread and pastry that I bought.


Coconut bread from 85C BAKERY AND CAFE

On the pretext of work, I would park myself in a cafe.


Walnut brioche, white-bean-stuffed pastry, and hazelnut coffee at ECCLESIA in Carrollton

Self control. I know I have come a long way and I appreciate that it is an accomplishment to lose 10 dress sizes. Now, I just have to keep it. It seem fair that I should work at keeping my size 2-4 since I did not have to work going to this size. I was just watching TV and then I lose the weight. 


Le Suit Size 4. I definitely like this size better than 14. I have proof in my closet

That said, my daughter bought me NY Cheesecake pancake from IHOP. I should have taken picture of the pancake. It was so good that I didn’t even think of it. I am proud to note that I stopped at eating just one. I was only going to eat half, but it was unusually good.

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Learning


I have been learning with Becky U every other week since Yoel died. Becky is an educator, and a very busy person.  I am humbled that she made time for me to study in loving memory and merit of Yoel. If I have to say what is the one good thing that came out of something so tragic, I would say this.  It got me learning about the Torah again. I was an observant Jew a long time ago.  However, something happened after the birth of my fifth child, and we just stopped. For the next 10 years, after the bris of my last child, we just go on with our lives and I rarely stop by the shul. Then Yoel died. Suddenly. Without warning. At least, not a warning that I grasped. Not a warning that I comprehended. I was amazed and touched at how my Jewish community gathered and supported us through the tragedy. I felt unworthy and overwhelmed by the attention. I felt guilty because I have not been giving my community  much thought but in my moment of need, they were there. Rabbi AF was there.

I am glad that we became members of our shul again. I haven’t been back in shul for service since Rosh Hoshana.  However, I have been learning with Becky U. We studied from a book. It helps me find my anchor when I am listing about without direction. I am still at a loss how to make my children see their Jewish heritage and to appreciate it. My daughter is learning with a friend. My 3rd child, Yoav, is learning with different Rabbis. He also goes to shul and is shomer Shabbos. His one big despair is having to see me in my non-tzinius clothing. Tziniut is the concept of dressing according to Hashem’s will. To dress with dignity befitting a child of Hashem. I am working my way back to that.

Anyway, I am also reading a book called LIVING EMUNAH – ACHIEVING A LIFE OF SERENITY THROUGH FAITH by Rabbi David Ashear. This book is attractive to me because it has a premise of living my life free of worry and anger/frustration if I have absolute faith in Hashem. You see, nothing happens on this earth if not for the will of Hashem. Nothing insignificant that it is not the will of Hashem. This book come with mini-sections to make learning easier in our busy lives. I am only through 7. I should have been at 14 because I was supposed to study this book at 5-minute increment since May 26. I am playing catch up.  We moved our study sessions to this coming Thursday because we got busy.  I will have studied more of this book by then.

It is now 230AM and I need to be sleeping because I have to go to work at 6AM. That is only less than 4 hours away. I hope tomorrow is not a busy day and I can take naps during the day. We will have to see.

[I do not remember where I took this picture, but I like taking pictures of stuff]